


The Promise We Made That Day

by bandsthetic (bandaesthetic)



Category: F. T. Island
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Broken Promise, Canon Related, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Nakama, Promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandaesthetic/pseuds/bandsthetic
Summary: Stay out of trouble, stay within the law, five until the end. That was the promise that FTIsland made the day they decided they would stick together for as long as they are able to.Seunghyun is finally starting to feel he has a place in the band, after all these years. But when the scandal rocked the nation, the industry, and their fanbase, Seunghyun is thrust into the spotlight he never wanted. He remembers his first few years as the 'new' member of FTIsland, the unbearable weight on his shoulders that took him years to grow used to. The replacement.Five until the end was a promise they couldn't keep. Yet Seunghyun is struggling to hold on to his end of the bargain.
Kudos: 7





	The Promise We Made That Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I started writing this as part of my own healing process. To come to terms with FTIsland and how they've gone through their line-up changes. Just to be clear, I am adamantly OT4 and I do not in any way endorse a certain ex-member or his crimes. That said, because this fic is canon-compliant (ish), I have no choice but to include him.
> 
> I won't give him the dignity of being named, so I will try to minimise his role in this story as much as I can, and in the few occasions that I do have to refer to him, I'm referring to him as [Redacted].

It was approaching February, in other words, it was almost his debut anniversary. Except, of course, no one really celebrated it, at his own insistence. To any normal person, debuts were meant to be celebrated. It meant you’d made it. You’d been selected amongst the faceless trainees, been elevated to the status of a celebrity. In his case, he’d even been awarded the honour of joining the ranks of one of the hottest idol bands of his time. Well, the _only_ idol band, back then.

But that was precisely why he didn’t want to celebrate it. To Song Seunghyun, every February was a reminder that he didn’t debut with FTIsland. He joined them to _replace_ their former guitarist, Oh Wonbin. This February, it would be five years since he’d been added into FTIsland. He’d been a member with them for twice as long as Wonbin had, officially speaking. But he couldn’t help but feel like he’d always be several steps behind. Perhaps 2,000 steps behind. He couldn’t stop associating his debut anniversary with the day he started to see how many anti-fans he had, purely for filling in the position that his predecessor had vacated. It wasn’t like he drove Wonbin away, but to his antis, that didn’t make a difference.

Even after all these years, he didn’t miss the way some of the comments still mentioned Wonbin, not just expressing missing him, but saying they wished he’d stayed, or that Seunghyun could never match up to him. He didn’t tell this to anyone. His bandmates would think he was being silly. No, he _was_ being silly. Seunghyun knew he couldn’t please everyone. He also knew that he’d won the hearts of a lot of fans.

Seunghyun was also aware that he’d managed to win over a lot of fans who’d been sceptical about him. He knew there were more fans now who knew FTIsland after he joined them, and therefore would _hypothetically_ not compare him with Wonbin. To them, he wasn’t a replacement. But he also knew, and every February was a reminder, that he didn’t debut on 7 June 2007 like the others did. He joined them one and a half years late. Insignificant in the larger scheme of their career at this point, but he also knew that he missed their glory days.

When Seunghyun first knew of FTIsland, back when he was an ordinary high school boy - okay, a _troubled_ high school boy still figuring himself out what with his parents’ divorce and not having a fixed home - FTIsland were at the top of their game: monster rookies, they were called. Competing with themselves for awards on music shows, steamrollering their competition, setting all kinds of trends... The pretty boys who popularised the flower boy trend, who had girls screaming their name, who were known not just for their incredibly good looks, but for their talent. For being the first ever idol band in South Korea. He, Song Seunghyun, was the only member of FTIsland who wasn’t a part of that story.

‘Seungchan,’ said Jaejin, pulling him out of his thoughts. ‘We’re here.'

Wordlessly, Seunghyun nodded. Then beamed as brightly as he could. He was getting better at it. The worried look on Jaejin’s face fell away, and Jaejin returned a smile that reached his eyes.

‘Were you sleeping with your eyes open?’ Jaejin asked, climbing out of the car.

‘I was up gaming all last night,’ Seunghyun lied.

Jaejin shrugged. ‘With Minan?’

Minhwan looked at them, then his eyes fell on his best friend. He seemed to understand.

‘Yeah,’ said Minhwan. ‘There’s an e-tournament next week.’

‘Just don’t fall asleep in the studio,’ said Hongki, stepping out of the car and sauntering towards the building. ‘C’mon.’

If there was anyone who had the right to be sleep-deprived, it was Lee Hongki. Seunghyun hardly ever saw him these days, even during the band’s practice sessions. Hongki would either come in hungover in the middle of the session or not be there at all, leaving them to run on four wheels instead of the usual five. Perhaps that wasn’t the best analogy. FNC had been pushing them to pursue solo activities which, in FNC lingo, meant pushing Hongstar to do as many solo activities as he could manage, never mind the fatigue, while the rest of FTIsland had to figure out their own schedule. Seunghyun and Minhwan had mostly just been dropping over to each other’s homes to film vlogs which would never be uploaded on YouTube, or game. Usually game.

Jaejin shrugged and followed. Minhwan walked up to Seunghyun and Seunghyun whispered a quick ‘Thanks,’ as they made their way up the steps.

They’d be filming a new music video, which Seunghyun was fairly excited about. He was sure the others were too. It was something new for them, something that was largely Hongki’s brain child but so true to what they all wanted. That thought alone was the reminder that Seunghyun needed: he was part of FTIsland because he shared their dream. As nebulous as it sounded, that was why he stuck around, wasn’t it? Wonbin had left because he realised his dream diverged from the others. Then again, maybe expecting a seventeen-year-old to stick to his dream for the rest of his life was asking too much. Come to think of it, wasn’t it a miracle that the other members’ dreams managed to morph in the same direction? It was a little bit like fate.

 _Perhaps,_ Seunghyun thought, _it was fate that I joined them later. I still joined them. After all this time, I'm still here._

And after all, he'd met his best friend. He was no longer the lost teenager with nothing to look forward to other than his grandmother's smile. The boy who had to try his hardest to brush the smell of cigarette smoke off his uniform before returning home, ignoring the flash of pain in his grandmother's eyes before she arranged her expression to not let on that she knew what he was up to.

Now he was part of something bigger than him. He wouldn't be alone again.


End file.
